so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
