there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
