I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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