I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
