I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
