I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
