Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
