no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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