Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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