I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
