Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
