Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My dick has a subreddit
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
