I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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