why didn't you poke me back
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
