i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
