Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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