theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
