I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
