I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
