she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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