I just saw a hot homeless man
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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