well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
