I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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