absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
