I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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