love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
