I don't think brook has ever known best
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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