i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
