If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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