I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
