Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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