dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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