I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
