Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He did a backflip because drugs
Shame - the story of my life.
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