put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
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