he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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