This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
