if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
