all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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