I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
