Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
