I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
