Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
