I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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