Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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