That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
