I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
