It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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