i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
