okay pat passed out under dana's car
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
my being single is dangerous.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
