Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
