He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
