It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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